The desire to adopt a child is a great gift but can be a long process. When considering adopting a child with special needs, there are many additional factors to consider. Children who are up for adoption, especially older children, come with a history that many of us can’t even imagine. Some have been through numerous foster homes, some have suffered abuse and neglect, and some were born with disabilities. Each child is unique, and understanding and accepting who he or she is and what you as parents can offer, are key in making sure your adoption goes off without a hitch.
The first step is to be honest with yourself. Take stock and make sure you are able to not only meet, but exceed the needs of a child emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. Think about whether or not you have any preconceived notions about whom the child you adopt will grow to be. Each child is different and having your own plan for his or her goals and life will leave everyone in the family hurting. Ask yourself additional questions such as how many children you can take in the case of sibling adoptions, how much contact you are willing to have with the birth family, and whether you have enough support from family and friends.
Once you decide that you do want to adopt a child with a special need, you must be open to help from outside sources such as social workers and doctors. You need to have patience, flexibility and a sense of humor.
If there is a particular child you are interested in adopting, read her entire bio. Talk to the social worker, to former foster parents, and to her pediatrician to get any information that my help you. Learn everything you can about her background and her needs. Meet with other parents raising children with similar backgrounds and disabilities to learn what day-to-day life is truly like for these families. The better equipped you are, the better off you and your new child will be.
In addition, use an agency versus an attorney for the adoption process since agencies are trained to deal with both the legal and emotional aspects of adoption. Stick with a local or domestic adoption versus international. The background of children who are adopted from other countries is often unknown and even a newborn has a family background and a history of nine months.
Adopting a child with a special need takes a lot of strength, resilience, flexibility and love. The joy and love that you get in return will be well worth your efforts.