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Adoptive families have special dates to remember and celebrate as time goes on and our children grow up. The meaning and significance of these dates are under the parents control to determine how the family recognizes and remembers them in the future. Some families make them as important as a birthday or anniversary and other families honor the dates in a personal and quiet way as parents with our children.
Adopted children may feel special having these celebrations and some children may have some mixed emotions about these dates during various developmental stages of their lives. The way a family decides to recognize the milestones may have a lot to do with how a child was adopted and if they remember being adopted or not.
The two big dates most adoptive parents mark are Adoption Day and Gotcha Day. Adoption day is the date the court approved the adoption and issues the adoption decree. This is the day the family is legal forever. Some families attend a special ceremony in a court room and meet the judge. These ceremonies are similar to court room weddings and can be a fantastic experience for children being adopted at an older age. Other families may simply receive the legal paperwork and have a final adoption decree issued without attending a court room ceremony.
Gotcha Day may not seem as important as Adoption Day however, for many adoptive parents it becomes one of the most important days of our lives. Where adoption day is like a marriage ceremony with a judge, Gotcha day is the birthday of the family joining together. It is the homecoming day and the day our baby or child is released into our custody and living life as a family together begins.
Most adopted children will not remember either of these special events. Our children will learn to understand the story of their adoption as the years pass. How we recognize these dates will help parents teach adopted children what these dates mean and how important they are. A child adopted as a newborn may not come understand the meaning of these family dates until they are much older. Other children will remember and develop stronger connections by having a shared memory with his/her parents.
Honoring the importance of these dates may have a major positive impact on how an adopted child processes and accepts the story of their lives. There are no set rules about how an adoptive family chooses to recognize the meaning of these dates. Many families choose to make them as important as any other special day. Other families, choose a tradition to mark the dates such as eating dinner out or a small personal gift for the child.
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