Kathy brought up the feelings she has as an adoptive mother writing about adoption and the future when adoption becomes understood by her child. As a mother I do not want my whole life to revolve around adoption but I also feel in many ways it has been helpful for my children to see me be an advocate for the adoption of waiting and older children.
My daughter, Makala, was almost 5 years old when she came home with her 1 year old brother. Makala will always remember and understand what it meant to get a “New” mom and dad because it happened to her. We have very little information about what her life was like until the age of four when she and her newborn brother were placed in foster care but after the past three years it is clear a lot happened to our little girl before her life became safe.
The issue of Adoption and the details and how each of my special needs siblings deal with their own adoption is going to be different. Both of our children have attachment disorders our son has an anxious attachment which is something he has and is overcoming. Jeremiah is developmentally delayed and has some speech disorders. Our daughter has diagnosed Reactive Attachment Disorder and a laundry list of different syndromes and disorders.
Being a writer and advocate for adoption it is hard to balance the impact our passion might have on our children. They might be angry or upset about our efforts in the future. I think all children are angry when they have a parent who is in the public about anything involving their child. I try to keep in mind that one day I hope my children have a peaceful and accepting understanding about how they become my children and that they know my love always was and always will be unconditional.
My personal hope is that my efforts in writing will actually live as a legacy for the love I have and want all four of my children to feel completely.