Today is the first day I ever saw my son in what I’m calling grown up clothes. He really looks all grown up and it is a little bit scary. Today my wife put our son into a button down shirt and some navy blue shorts. This isn’t the stuff with the stretchy material or Velcro either. Buttons and 100% cotton and hemming and pockets and all. The horror and the pride come because he looks like a little man. Perhaps even more importantly he’s looking like a toddler and every day he comes closer to taking that first step. It’s a little difficult for Dad. I’m realizing the truth of children growing up quickly. Watching him grow makes my own life feel like it is whizzing by. Despite all of this I’ve chosen to view this growing as a positive (since there’s nothing I can do about it anyway). It’s caused a lot of reflection (even just today).
Just today I had a rare moment of holding my son as he slept. Looking at his little face and his adorable hair just left me thinking about how one day in the future he’d be horrified to have my hold him while he sleeps. Someday he’ll want to keep more distance between us than he does currently. Someday he’ll want to have his space. Someday I may not even be able to lift him. One of my aunts had a large family and during a family picture (much later when all the kids were grown) the baby of the family (I think mid to late 20’s at the time) sat on his parents’ knees. This funny picture sort of demonstrates the absurdity of treating your children the same way throughout their whole lives. Things are both lost and gained though. I’m looking forward to having a conversation with my son. In fact, my wife and I are looking forward to taking a walk with our son (and have him walking). I think in the end that the gains are worth it. Still, I’d better enjoy my little man while he’s little.