‘There are always two possibilities.’ Mick isn’t ‘well at present and so we sat down yesterday to watch a movie and this was the recurring theme.
The movie was Me and the Colonel, an old one with Danny Kaye. For a while the colonel could only ever see one possibility, but eventually he realized his companion was right, as time and time again he found a way out of trouble. There are always two possibilities.
It’s the same in marriage. We can react to something that displeases us by nagging or we can choose not to.
A better option is to bide your time, and then carefully pick the right time to ask your spouse if they will do whatever it is you want done.
Pick a time when they are feeling good about themselves or when you have been able to encourage and praise them about something else they have done. Then leave it with them. Don’t keep harping and bringing it up. Trust they will do it when they get a chance without your subtle, or not so subtle, reminders.
Above all don’t go telling everyone you know about how you’ve been on their case to do this job and it’s not happening. That will guarantee it never happens. People don’t like to feel backed into a corner or gossiped about.
If it appears that it is not going to happen after a suitable interval, repeat the process in a gentle non accusatory voice without adding, ‘ remember I asked you do to this last night or last week’ or whenever it was. When you mention it they will probably remember themselves that you had asked and it might make them feel guilty so they will do the job without you needing to add more. When they do it, praise and thank them.
‘The brightest blazes of happiness are often kindled by unexpected sparks,’ my calendar says today. How about showering some of those sparks in your marriage, in the form of unexpected praise and encouragement?
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