It is often common for single parents to talk about their “support system”–we know how important it is to have people around us who can help out and be supportive of our situation and circumstance. Not everyone is really helpful, however, and it can sometimes be a good idea to evaluate those people who are closest to us and in our “support system” to see if they are really being helpful, or if they are adding stress to our already stressful lives.
I am not suggesting that you dump people from your inner circle, but it can’t hurt to figure out if there are those who are simply bossing you around, butting into your business, or trying to direct your life. There might also be those people who we really need to be supportive or encouraging and they simply are not. I know that I have had people who I thought were going to be more supportive than they turned out to be and after they let me down a few times, I had to decide if I wanted to keep them in my life–and if so, what role they were going to play. It might just be that some people will have to be nudged to the “outside” of the inner circle and not be allowed in close where they can be so influential.
Another thing that happens is that we grow and evolve as people and as single parents. In the beginning, it may be that we really need people who tell us what to do; people who take charge and boss us around a little bit. Then, as we get our feet on the ground and get control of our lives, we need less and less of that and what is actually helpful for us changes. We need to make sure that our “support team” is changing along with our own personal changes. What was helpful once, may not be helpful now.
Also: Why Go to a Single Parents’ Support Group?