Sometimes we forget how important our job is a single parent, although we never forget how stressful it is and how much work it is. Sometimes you just have to step back to the basics and remember the most important thing, which is raising healthy, happy, well adjusted children.
Often I search out advice, read blogs to see how other mothers do it, find out what is working for someone else, and I make a list. I’m a huge list maker, it helps me keep things organized in my mind. Things I always try to remember as a single parent:
*Deal with your own reality and take care of your needs. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t do a very good job of taking care of the kids.
*Find some help. List what you would like and who could help. Do you have a teenage niece who could watch the kids for an hour while you have coffee with your sister? Is there someone who can give your child a ride to school? Every little thing helps.
* Eliminate all unnecessary chores. Do not buy items that are high maintenance. Look at each chore you have to do, can it be done faster? Less often? Not at all? You will be surprised at how many things can be eliminated.
* Take time for you, read a book, exercise, write in a journal. Something that belongs to just you. Thirty minutes a day of time to yourself is very rejuvenating.
* Find other single parents for support. There are groups you can join, email lists, whatever you are comfortable with, it’s important to have people to talk to who understand.
* Let your kids know how you feel and let them know it’s ok to express their feelings, this can lead to some great family discussions.
* Be nice to your ex spouse. Never bad mouth your children’s other parent.
* Laugh as often as possible, with the kids or with friends, it’s a wonderful stress reliever.
* Enjoy your children.
* Go easy on yourself, no one is perfect so why try? Do the best you can and let that be enough.
We have to remember, this isn’t a contest, and there are no awards for getting everything right and having a picture perfect home. Relax, every day gets a little easier.