Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!

Is Dr. K. Pinkerton Silverfish the world’s leading authority on perfection? You bet your booties, Grandma! He is also Thompson Seedless Professor of Enology at the Ripple Campus of Skidrow College. He holds degrees from Fahrenheit University and Centigrade Institute, but when his arms get tired he puts them down. As a hobby, Dr. Silverfish raises Venus flytraps. He also owns the world’s second largest collection of unusual toothpicks.

Milo Crinkley wants to be perfect. Apparently, he thinks that Dr. K. Pinkerton Silverfish can help him. In “Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!” by Stephen Manes, Milo goes through three grueling days of tasks in order to become perfect.

Milo’s adventure begins while he is searching the library for a good book about monsters. Suddenly, a book falls on his head! When he picks up the book, he looks at the cover and sees a picture of a goofy-looking man who is eating a hot dog and has mustard dribbling down his chin. Although he has serious doubts about this man teaching him to be perfect, he opens the book and reads the first page anyway. Since this Dr. K. Pinkerton Silverfish says on the first page of his book that he knows what the reader is thinking — which Milo is — Milo decides to give Dr. K. Pinkerton Silverfish a chance. He checks out the book from the library and walks home, dreaming about what it must be like to be perfect.

Over the next three days, Milo does his best to follow Dr. Silverfish’s advice exactly. From wearing broccoli on a string around his neck to staying awake all night, Milo is bound and determined to become a perfect person. He loves the idea of throwing out all of his erasers and getting perfect scores on tests. He revels in the fact that he might be able to correct his teachers and never be wrong. Most of all, he wants to be better than his snide older sister Elissa. Do you think Milo will succeed?

I remember picking up “Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!” at a book fair in elementary school. I don’t remember what grade I was in or why I chose it, but I do remember that it became one of my favorite books of all time. Your child will absolutely adore this goofy tale of Milo Crinkley and his quest to become a perfect person. Just beware if s/he starts wearing broccoli on a string!

“Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!” by Stephen Manes is available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other retailers.