We single parents don’t usually have someone to bounce parenting ideas and suggestions off of, or someone handy to help us work through things to make sure we are seeing things clearly. I think this is one of the main reasons that single parents can sometimes seem inconsistent. We feel like we have to take some sort of action, and we do that before we are completely clear that we are looking at things from a reasonable perspective. This is why I think it is sometimes necessary for us to take a little extra time and make sure that we are clear–we know what is going on and what we expect from our child–before taking action.
Of course, sometimes it is necessary for any parent to back track or reverse a decision, but firmness and consistency are so important, I think we should try to be as consistent as possible on the “big issues.” I also think that it pays off to take extra time to really think things through and sort them out–rather than to come to a rash decision that you end up regretting or rescinding. Since I don’t have a spouse to talk to, I have been fortunate enough to have a couple friends through the years that I could call when I needed a sounding board–someone to help me talk things through and figure out what to do about a child issue–before I flew off the handle. This way, I am normally able to present a calm, firm, and clear-minded presence to my kids when I do take action–and I think this can be important.
We won’t always be able to be absolutely certain before we address and issue or hand down disciplinary action, but taking time to think it through prior to going into a rage or getting excited can help. And this is a good way that a single parent can stay consistent and in control over the long run.