Being a man in the 21st century is a lot different for me now, than what is was for my dad and his dad in the 20th century. My dad and my grandfather were “Men’s Men.” They could work long hours for their family and never complain. They weren’t expected to be sensitive and nurturing. They were the providers. That’s how they showed their love for us.
Today’s man is more a blended role. He is still expected to provide, and he is to be a caring, loving, husband and father. He can no longer give the excuse that he is too busy at work to miss the kid’s ball games, or ballet. He must be there for his kids and his wife. Here in lies the great challenge. His boss demands that he put his company first. His wife and kids demand first priority. Finding the balance has been eluded many men who have tried to please both their family and their employer.
In fact, finding a balance in their role as a husband and a father is also critical. The father is a firm disciplinarian, but is also kind and gentle. He can share emotions with his family in both good and bad times. But he also knows how separate his emotions from the facts and can make clear, level-headed decisions without allowing emotion to sway him.
As a father myself, I try to always remember to tell my kids that I love them. They know that I love them. However, they also know that I am their father, not their buddy or their friend. A friend can’t be in the role of authority and a friend. Neither can a father. It’s too confusing to the child and the parent. A parent can be loving, and be friendly, but not a friend. Being a parent is not about how much love you feel for your kids, it is about the love, guidance, and structure you provide for your kids.
Being this type of man, who can be the provider and nurturer has probably developed over the last 50 years as more and more woman have gone into the workforce. Men have had to take more of an active role in child rearing and the day to day activities of maintaining a family at home. On the other hand, as divorce rates have risen over the years and more single parent families are becoming the norm, women have had to take on more of a blended role as well.
Women are both the nurturer and the disciplinarian in the home. On the whole, I think that both genders are adapting well to the changes in society. It can be a bumpy road sometimes. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse and your kids. Just like a shock absorber can help relieve some of the stress to a vehicle, so can talking regularly with your family about life’s changes help them to weather the storms.