I’ve been nursing so long now that I have no choice but to nurse in public. People have a variety of opinions on this and generally, I must say I’m a rather polite sort of person. . .I think there are ways to be considerate of others, but I do have three general guidelines while in public with nursing babies:
First–I REFUSE to nurse in a bathroom. I don’t eat in a bathroom, I wouldn’t ask my children to eat in a bathroom and I don’t think my baby should eat in a bathroom either.
Second–When I am out in public, I am subjected to looking at women and girls who wear their skirts too short and their tops too low. I can stare or look away. It is the same thing if I am nursing an infant–someone can stare or if they’re bothered, look away.
Third–For every person that may be bothered by seeing a breastfeeding woman, there are three more who are probably annoyed by a screaming baby! The screaming baby always wins out if said baby is hungry.
Now that I’ve laid down my guidelines, let me say that there is such a thing as good manners when you are breastfeeding in public. As long as my three guidelines above are met, I do try and be considerate of other people‘s feelings.
The Handy Dandy Cover-Up
When my oldest daughter was born, we had a cover up that had a stiff neck so I could look down and see how the baby was doing but no one else could see me. It was really nice. My daughter did not mind it over her face and we were a happy nursing couple.
Then my son came along and he did mind very much a cloth over his face.
So here’s my point: if you want to use a cover up great. If not, that’s fine too, but it is in poor form to lift your shirt way up for all to see in public crowded areas. If you wear a loose shirt you will be able to cover sufficiently with your hand and the extra cloth in the shirt.
Seeking Refuge
It is not polite to nurse in close quarters. I have done it (see rule #3) and you should too if you have to (as per rule #3) but if the baby can wait–then you should wait. By close quarters I mean seats on trains, or right next to a person on a bench (especially when there are empty benches around), or equally crowded conditions. Not only does it afford opportunity for people to see you, but nursing infants kick and wiggle while they are nursing and if you’re that close to a person, they are going to get kicked!
Turn Your Back
If it is possible, it is polite to find the closest area, that is the least crowded. Many places now provide mother’s rooms–use them. If they don’t, find a bench or other comfortable area that is as far away as is convenient. You should not feel like you have to walk half a mile with a screaming baby but if you can find a place that’s less crowded, do it. If not, you can park yourself and use your stroller as a block or turn your back away from the main thoroughfare so as to be more discreet.
Slings
I will write more about slings in another blog on wearing your baby. But slings are great inventions for breastfeeding in a variety of awkward situations without anyone realizing what you’re doing.
Those of you who avidly believe in breastfeeding are probably wondering why I, another avid breast feeder, may be writing an article about trying to cover up. It is, as you probably know, legal in all states to breastfeed in public and most states have legislation that specifically excludes showing breasts (as part of the breastfeeding process) as indecent exposure. It is, my right, to breastfeed anywhere I want as long as I would otherwise be allowed to be there.
So here’s why I think you should do your best to cover up: it’s considerate. That’s it. It’s not a horribly complicated, research based reason. It’s just that we live in a world where being considerate is a lost art. It doesn’t cost me anything to extend a little courtesy if possible and the result is far reaching. After all, I have a seven year old who watches me. If I want her to learn to be considerate and polite I have to show her how to do it. That’s quite the challenge.
So don’t feel obligated to go far out of your way. Just because you get a negative remark every once in awhile, don’t feel as if you have to pack up, screaming infant in tow, and find a new private location. Just extend a little courtesy, do your best to be discreet and it is likely that no one will even know what you are doing!