I had a conversation with my daughter some time back about dating. It wasn’t that she was interested in dating or anything, but I just wanted to make sure she didn’t have any expectations that it was something we would allow anytime soon.
I explained that in my experience dating at a young age had caused more stress than happiness. Along with dating comes always worrying about how you look, worrying about your ‘relationship’, and worrying about competition and threats to your relationship. Teens also have to cope with unexpected break-ups that can really throw a teenager for a loop and leave them depressed for years.
I got no argument in the conversation, I feel like she half heard me, and half thought that just because it happened to me did not mean that it would happen to her.
A recent study, however, proved me right.
According to the Heritage Foundation, sexually active teenagers are more likely to be depressed and attempt suicide. When I was a teen, this wasn’t an issue for me as teens could date and not be expected to be sexually active. These days, it is almost a given that a teen in a relationship of anywhere from a few weeks to a few months has at least been pressured to go all the way.
This means that if being a teenager in a relationship was hard 25 years ago, it’s a lot worse now.
Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite for not allowing my children to do what I was allowed to do, but we really do live in a different world now than we did then. While my parents allowed me to ‘date’ as early as 14, I can’t see allowing my kids to do the same until at the very least 16, if not older.
I do know however, that I was too young to handle the stress of dating at age 14,15,16, or even 17, and I would like my children to reach adulthood with a bit more confidence and self esteem than I arrived with.
~If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.
Is “Going Out” Actually Dating?
Setting Age Guidelines for Teens
Can Parents Protect Teens from Dating Violence