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Can We Ever Just Appear Without Being Explained?

How should books and media portray adopted kids and their families? One thing I would like to see is kids and parents who don’t look alike depicted in books that aren’t really about adoption at all. Our kids will feel more different than ever if every time they are mentioned they are something odd enough to need explanation. What about just having a children’s picture book about two kids on a playdate, with one child shown as Chinese and her mother as White? What about a middle-grade novel in which a boy says he can’t come over Saturday because his birthmother is visiting from out of state that weekend? (Okay, that last one might need a bit of explanation.)

I tried to suggest this concept once to a children’s book illustrator I met at conference. “It’s up to the editors whether I get a book about adoption,” she replied.
“No, actually,” I tried to explain, “just show kids who look different from their parents when it’s not the point of the story. As if it were normal.”

Trust me, authors have written children’s books and illustrators have faithfully represented every quality the writer specified in the characters…except for drawing the family members as a family of frogs. Are illustrators really afraid to make the kids look different from the parents if the author didn’t expressly say they were, but they’re not afraid of depicting a whole family as frogs if the author didn’t expressly state that they were people?

How hard is it to find images that reflect our kids’ reality?
My mother, an elementary school teacher, said, “Oh, it can’t be hard to find diverse children’s books nowadays.”
It is easy to find books featuring Asian children and families, I told her. It is still not easy to find books featuring multiracial families.

There was a magazine advertisement for a clothing retailer a few years ago which showed a family of two (White) parents and their four children, one of whom was Asian. There was a TV ad showing a White father administering children’s cold medicine to an Asian child. Maybe people will glance twice. But chances are they will, after a minute, realize that either interracial marriage or adoption is being portrayed. Maybe they will think to themselves, “hm, that really is common nowadays after all.”

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About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!