One ongoing discussion that my husband and I are having is about how expensive it is to raise children. I keep telling him that another child would not cost significantly more than what we are paying for right now. I think our major difference is looking at the different ends of the spectrum. I am mostly focusing on the present and he is focusing on the future. We also came from different backgrounds.
He came from a smaller family. He was fortunate enough to have a car in high school. His parents helped to pay for his school. They weren’t rich, but comfortable. They were responsible with their money and so they were able to provide well for each of their children.
I came from a larger family. We had one car for the teenagers to share. I had to pay for college by myself. I am proud that I managed to put myself through school without incurring any debt. I came from a middle class family. Things were often tight because of the size of our family, but we were also really close to each other.
Our expectations as to what we want to provide for our kids vary a little bit. He would like to pay for all of their college expenses. I want to help, but I see definite benefits in having my kids work part-time in college or to save up money over the summer. We both know that high school is a very expensive time. Fortunately we have time to work out with each other the things that we will give to our kids and what they will earn.
So much of the projected expenses of raising a child come with the extra things that children want. This can range from iPods and cell phones to lessons and sports. It is important that each parent find a balance with what they can afford and want to provide. Providing all of our children’s wants at the drop of the hat can make life difficult for them later on.
You can find alternatives or encourage your children to earn the money for the things that they want. You can encourage your children to earn scholarships to school. Out of my six siblings three of us have earned different scholarships (one academic, one acting and one athletic) to help ourselves to finish college. We knew we needed to find ways to pay for ourselves and so we did. A fourth is working her way through right now.
Ultimately the most important thing you can provide your children with is a loving home environment. You need to provide the necessities of shelter, food and clothing, but you can do so without breaking the bank. (The food might go up with your teenage boys beyond what you think is reasonable.) It is important to realize what your expenses will be and plan ahead, but if you do this you should be able to raise your children while you meet their needs and some of their wants.
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