I was asked by someone if it’s ever possible to love the person who cheated on you the same as you did before the affair. My answer in short was, “No.”
With every experience in life, consequences occur. Your life evolves as you come to a new experience. Your life isn’t the same after each episode of your life places because you must adjust to accommodate the changes in your life.
When a spouse cheats, it changes the marriage. It changes the way the marriage was before the affair. You can’t go back in time and change what has happened. All you can do is re-adjust and move on with this new type of marriage.
This is why I told this person that although she may not love her husband the same she did before, she can love him in a new way. She now sees that he is not perfect, and that he is capable of mistakes. She can accept that and love him despite his faults. That is quite an accomplishment in itself, and shows how strong love can really be.
When it comes to infidelity recovery, it’s all about letting go of the past, and embracing the future. It’s a very sad process because it’s much like mourning a death of someone you love deeply. That person that you never thought could hurt you so deeply has, and you need to allow yourself to grieve that person’s passing. After you grieve, you’ll be able to see the new person standing in front of you. The person that you love in a new, special way.
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