Probably the hardest job any parent has is to take care of their child when their child is ill. It is exceptionally difficult when your child is in pain, and you can’t take it away. Couple that with having to wait around in a hospital. Perhaps your child has had multiple hospitalizations for some underlying health problem, such as our son with special needs, who has Sprintzen’s Syndrome. At the risk of sounding completely sexist, it seems to be especially hard on the father. The dad, who believes it’s his “job” to fix everything. However, this is something that dad just can’t fix.
You feel a deep sense of helpless. But, you cling on to whatever hope and faith you have in order to do what is best for your child and your family. You give the people around you that notion that your optimistic about your child’s future health -that he’s going to get better. You tell your child that he will get better. You are calm in the mist of the raging emotional storm. You are a rock. Why? Because you have to be. Because it is what is going to help your child, your spouse, and the rest of your family through this traumatic experience.
You are strong, but you don’t have to be alone. If you’re married, your spouse is your best support source. If you attend church, your pastor, or other church leaders can be a great source of comfort and wisdom (they deal with this kind of thing a lot). Your family and friends are also possible support resources. If you have a special needs child, you could join a support group and meet other parents just like you. Don’t try and go it alone. The days of the Lone Ranger are over. You can only go so far before you hit the “meltdown” mode. You might as well face it. You’re going to need some help facing this experience. Asking for help is NOT a sign a weakness. It IS a sign of strength.
Take it from someone who has been with his son 14 times in the hospital in 14 years, you need the love and support of your family, friends and church. Not only is it a great benefit to you, but also to your wife and any other children that you may have. This support network can help you recharge your batteries by allowing you to get away, or just helping to shoulder the burden for a time until you can.
In the Bible, in the book of Joshua it says to “Be strong and courageous.” You are strong and courageous if you are continuing to press on, believing in better days ahead for your child and your family. Keep looking for answers, and holding on to hope.
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