I’m a foster mom. I’ve been a foster mom for almost three years. While the system is by no means perfect, it does its best to provide a semblance of home for the thousands of children who are in the system. The foster system gives these children parents and a home. The children have a bed to call their own and a place. Children need a place. All the transitions involved with entering the foster system are so disruptive to children that anything we can do to be a calming and restorative influence is good.
Permanency is the goal in fostering. We want our children to be home. We want to give parents the help they need to regain their children and recreate home. We want our children to find their home with extended family or friends. We want our children to stay in the foster homes they know as home. Permanency is something that all children deserve. Permanency is part of normalcy.
Despite our best efforts children will still be shuffled between homes. Parents may lapse and have their children re-enter the system. Foster homes don’t work out. Children get older and may be harder to deal with. Children get older and become more jaded. Too many children are in and out of many foster homes. As these children get older, more problems arise. Children age out of the system. Children age out of the system without finding permanency. These children all too often then are in and out of the judicial system or worse.
California has raised the age cap on foster children from 18 to 21. That will make a huge difference for the children. I certainly wasn’t ready at 18 to take complete control of myself. I wasn’t ready at 21 either, but I would have been closer.