Changing Focus

I recently read a staggering statistic about the number of negative thoughts most people have in a day. How negative do you think you are? This article claimed that most people have around 300 negative thoughts every single day. I’d be willing to bet that when you are in the middle of a divorce that number is much, much higher. That first month after my divorce I remember being completely consumed in negativity. My life was falling apart, how could I not be? I wish I could go back and show myself what a positive thing it turned out to be, but I’m not sure I would have believed it; I was too focused on all of the things that were going wrong. I couldn’t possibly see anything good coming out of that situation.

Instead of counting how many negative thoughts we have over the course of the day, what if we counted the positive ones? There are plenty of downsides to being a single parent. It certainly isn’t easy and for some it may be difficult to see past the negativity, but there are plenty of good things in our lives too.

When you are getting ready in the morning, find something that you love about yourself. Nobody loves everything, but everybody loves something. Is it your eyes? Your hair? Your outfit? Find something that makes you feel really beautiful and focus on that rather than your imperfections.

When you are rushing around to get your kids ready for school and you off to work, think of the blessings. Think of how lucky you are to be the one doing their hair and making them breakfast in the morning. It may be a little stressful and take a little time out of your already busy day, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world because you love them. Think of how blessed you are to have a job. You may not love it and you’d probably much rather be at home with your kids, but be thankful you have a means to support your children, when so many others don’t have that luxury.

There are plenty of things to be thankful for, even as a single parent. Instead of focusing on all of the things that have gone wrong, focus on the things that have gone right. Something as simple as changing your focus could be the difference you’ve been waiting for.

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Sarah Williams

About Sarah Williams

I am a single mother to a sweet little 4 year old boy named Logan. I am almost done with my degree in Elementary Education and have loved every second of it. I love writing for and hope to be able to help other single moms through the difficulties of raising a child on your own.