Sometimes in life, there is nothing to do but start over. I believe that there are times in our experiences as parents when it becomes necessary to wipe the slate clean too and start over—whether it is with our children in some capacity or with our personal philosophies of parenting, there are times when we really need to just stop, clear the slate, and begin again…
I have experienced the need to clear the slate with my kids and as a parent on several occasions—there have been those times when I felt betrayed or as if I just could not trust one of my children because of something they had done and rather than hanging on to this feeling of betrayal, I chose to let it go, wipe the slate clean, and start over. There have been other times when I have made a mistake or was clinging to a long-held parenting philosophy that just was not working and I had to also let go and wipe the slate clean in order to approach things with a fresh eye.
The important thing is to let go completely. If you are going to wipe the slate clear and start over, it is imperative that you really do let go and do not bring up old, dead issues after you have said they are in the past. It is unfair and it sends a mixed message. If you tell your child that you are going to clear the slate and start fresh and new, then bringing up the misdeed or mistake at a later date nullifies that statement and builds additional resentment.
It can feel extremely liberating and healthy to finally let go of unpleasantness and move on. Of course, this does not mean that it will be smooth-sailing and that you or the child won’t make mistakes in the future, but wiping the slate clear can be a good way of letting go to make room for the future.
Also: Holding Grudges or Letting Go: Teaching Our Children About Forgiveness