After a miscarriage many women blame themselves. You may dwell on everything you did or didn’t do when looking for an explanation. I have had three miscarriages and have been guilty of playing the blame game with myself. Sometimes miscarriages just happen. In the vast majority of the cases, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Nothing you did caused the loss. Here are some of the most common myths surrounding miscarriage.
“Sex causes miscarriage.”
Sex alone does not cause miscarriage. The baby is very well cushioned inside your body and will not be hurt by sex. In some cases, you may be told to avoid sex. This happens if there is already a problem with the pregnancy. Sex will not cause a problem, unless a complication already exists.
“Too much exercise can cause miscarriage.”
Many women avoid exercise during pregnancy out of fear the baby may be harmed. Exercise is actually very good for you and the baby. You should always ask your doctor about your particular routine and follow some safety rules, such as staying hydrated and not overdoing it. Again, if there are complications, you may be told to take it easy. But unless the pregnancy is already threatened, there is no harm in exercise.
“My negative thoughts caused the miscarriage.”
This is a very common misconception among women who have lost a baby. If the pregnancy was unplanned or you didn’t feel ready for a baby, you may blame yourself if something goes wrong. Not being happy about finding out you were pregnant will not cause a miscarriage. Guilt feelings later are not productive and only cause needless suffering.
“Stress will cause a miscarriage.”
Stress doesn’t cause miscarriages. Women often deal with stress during pregnancy. Even major stress, such as a death in the family or unemployment will not cause a miscarriage. Major trauma may contribute to preterm labor later in the pregnancy, but will not cause an early miscarriage. Typical stress or even major stress will not cause you to lose the baby.
“I didn’t get enough nutrition.”
Poor nutrition in early pregnancy will not cause a miscarriage. Before you know you are pregnant, the baby has very little nutritional needs. If your diet isn’t the best, it will not cause a miscarriage. The baby takes what it needs from your body. Your nutrition will suffer, not the baby’s.
“I picked up my toddler too much.”
Lifting your children won’t cause a miscarriage. Use care when lifting your other little ones to save your own back, not out of fear of harming the baby. Squat and use your leg muscles to lift. Even improper lifting won’t hurt the baby.
It’s important to understand that most miscarriages can’t be prevented. There is nothing you did that caused it. Dwelling on every move you made will only intensify your grief. Sometimes our babies are lost, despite our best efforts. Concentrate on the future, rather than beating yourself up over something that was out of your control.