Communication is a two way street. It involves talking and listening. Sadly some people only seem to recognize the first part. They spend a lot of time talking but very little listening.
Even when they are listening they may hear the words but they are not really taking them in. Why? Because they’re too busy getting defensive or already planning what they’re going to say next and just itching for the opportunity to jump back in and put forward their opinion.
A common complaint from some wives is, ‘He never talks to me. He never tells me what’s going on.’
It could well be because he’s realized there’s no point as she is not really listening. Of course the same thing also happens in reverse. A wife wants to tell her husband all about her day, about what she’s feeling but he is too busy with his own projects and plans to actually listen and take notice of what she is saying. How often have you had someone tell a piece of news and your spouse reacts to it when you know you have already told your spouse that information some time before the other person came on the scene?
The fact that they hadn’t heard it or taken any notice when you told them could mean they were otherwise occupied at the time you mentioned it. It might mean they didn’t think it was worth listening because you were talking and you talk all the time so they tend to switch off for most of it. Or it could be they thought you were just rehashing old arguments, gossip or news and so switched off.
I suspect it is something all of us have been guilty of at times. Because we know our marriage partner so well, sometimes we can be casual in our attitudes towards them and not pay them the respect and attention they deserve and are entitled to expect.
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