I wanted to write more about dating, so I decided to do a little research into what is currently passing as dating advice. While there is some good stuff available, not much has changed in some areas since I was single. Much of the dating advice being offered now is all too similar to what it was back in the day and that whole “snag a guy” or “win a girl” thing, frankly turns my stomach.
Women aren’t looking to “snag” or trick or trap men and men shouldn’t be looking to “win” a girl as if she is some prize. This kind of so-called advice is one of the reasons relationships have a difficult time getting started, or even why they fail, in my opinion. It gives people the wrong perception of the opposite sex and of how relationships should work.
Dating isn’t about achieving a goal. Dating is a process. Getting to know someone, learning whether or not the two of you are compatible, and hopefully having some fun along the way should be what it’s all about. If you begin dating with the goal of “winning” or even the goal of marrying in mind, you’ll likely damage the relationship before it really begins. While it may not be permanently destroyed, you’ll have to work much harder at it.
Give up all those “how to catch the guy of your dreams and keep him forever” books, articles, quizzes, and websites. Guys, trash all those tips for “how to sweet talk the honeys.”
My advice is to let go. Be yourself. Get to know people and enjoy the time you spend with them. If the relationship is meant to develop into something more, it will begin moving in that direction without artificial means and without playing ridiculous games.
Relax. Become friends. Enjoy dating -one date at a time- and see what happens.