Dealing with the Death of a Spouse

When two people are married, they create a very close bond with one another. They are comfortable with each other. They learn about one another. They become the best of friends. They become accustomed to companionship that they share. Let me stop there and rephrase my beginning sentence to “when two people are happily married”.

Now I am ready to continue.

Losing this special bond can be a very hard and devastating experience. I cannot imagine losing my husband to death.

I have often heard it spoken of two people that have been married for years that one grieved him/herself to death after the spouse passed away.

Losing a spouse at anytime during a marriage can be difficult. However, I think that the older the person is the harder it is for him/her to pick up and continue on with his/her life.

When a spouse dies, many friends and family will offer advice. Some will try to get you to quickly begin dating and going out again. Others will try to get you to begin sorting through and getting rid of your spouse’s items. Some will feel that you should continue to grieve heavily for years.

What you do should come from your heart. There is not danger in your spouse’s clothes staying in the closet. There is also no danger in you catching a movie with friends. However, you should make sure that you feel comfortable with your actions.

Think about the things that your spouse would like to see you doing. Think about how you would want your spouse to respond had the table been turned.

Everyone responds differently to death. None of us can put a number on when it is appropriate to date again or how long we should wait until we clear out the closets. Those things must come from within.

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