A roadblock to fitness can be a toxic cocktail of self-doubt, stress, fears and emotional upheaval. Past failures can haunt present endeavors and future successes. A constant mental barrage of degrading comments directed internally.
“I should work out, but I just don’t.”
“Nothing I ever do works.”
“Why do I even bother? I’ll never look that good.”
“I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on fitness equipment and then I just don’t do it.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I’m too tired.”
“I’ve got too much work.”
“Who could love someone like me?”
If those sound familiar, then you’re definitely a candidate for detox. Detox may sound easy, but I assure you, it isn’t. Before you start in on yourself and keep blaming yourself for all your mistakes. Maybe you ate food that you shouldn’t have, or you’ve been skimping on your diet secretly. You haven’t told anyone that you really are still having sugar, even if the Atkins said no. Maybe you didn’t get to the gym today, yesterday or the day before.
Maybe you haven’t been there since the day you paid your hefty membership fee and started letting it charge your bank account a nice tidy sum every month. Maybe you have new fitness equipment still in the box and in the bag that you got it from at the store. You might even still have the receipt in the bag.
Guess what?
It’s okay.
Seriously.
By constantly hammering yourself with all the things you haven’t done. By highlighting your failures and enumerating them like a fishwife and stringing yourself up by your own petard, whom are you helping?
No one.
Not even yourself.
That’s right. The first part of the detox program begins when you forgive yourself. You screwed up. You made a mistake. You didn’t do X, Y or Z. Okay.
You can’t change that.
What’s done is done.
Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. If you cuddle your regrets close to you and nurse them like a child, suckling on failure, self-doubt, misery and depression, all you do is create more regrets.
Again, who does this help?
No one.
If all of the above applies to you, stand up and say the following. (Yes, I said stand up, at your desk at work, at your desk at home, at the library, wherever you are. Stand up.)
Stand and hold up your right hand. Say these words out loud.
Ready?
“My name is (insert your name here) and I am human. I have flaws. I have strengths. I am me. I have made mistakes. I have done great things. I will make mistakes. I will do great things. I am who I am. I am (insert name here) and I am committed to being true to me.”
That felt weird, didn’t it? I bet some of you didn’t stand up and do it. I bet some of you are rolling your eyes. I bet some of you are even right now considering going on to a different place to read because this just sounds like a bunch of hokey nonsense.
The truth is, it is your truth that you have to be true to. There is no one ideal plan for anyone. You are you. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are human.
You deserve to be loved for who you are, by everyone, but most especially by yourself. If you do not love yourself, if you do not treat yourself with respect, if you do not forgive yourself – who else will? Everyone in your life may feel this way about you, but you will never see it that way because you have not done it for yourself.
Imagine that you have done wrong by another person. Imagine you have treated them badly. Imagine you have short-changed them. You have held up a standard of expectation for them that is beyond something they can achieve alone. Imagine that you have criticized their every miss-step. Imagine that you have been harsh and cruel. Imagine that you have never given them a break. Imagine that you are positively ugly where they are concerned and nothing they ever do will be right or enough.
Now imagine that that person is you.
This is what self-doubt and criticism and regret does to a person. They are virtually unrecognizable in the mirror. Because who you see in the mirror is all of the above and not ‘worth’ your time, your love or your forgiveness.
And that’s where you do yourself the greatest wrong.
Forgive yourself for being human.
Forgive yourself for making mistakes.
Forgive yourself for having let yourself down.
Forgive and let go of those regrets.
What’s done is done and tomorrow is a new day.
If you’re still with me, then I invite you back here and to leave your own affirmations in the comments to this post. We’re going to talk about detox over the next week. I’ll provide you with some tips and some tools. Share your stories if you want to, keep them private if you wish.
Forgive yourself.
It’s the best first step towards fitness you will ever take.