Do You See Your Marriage as a Commitment or a Contract?

This past weekend I attended a two day seminar at my church. It was a program called “Marriage on the Rock.” No, not marriage on the “rocks”…on the ROCK, as in strength and long-lasting.

It was a great time of learning more about each other and ending it with a chance to renew your marriage vows. Since we just celebrated 20 years in September, it was quite fitting.

One of the lessons that really stuck out to me was the whole idea of commitment. Too often instead of looking at marriage as a commitment, people tend to see it as more of a contract.

The difference between the two is this. Commitments are for the long haul. They are not meant to be broken. Contracts on the other hand can be broken.

You go into a contract because you can’t take the other person at their word. Contracts usually include all kinds of clauses and disclaimers. But even though contracts can be broken, there is always a price to pay.

Ever try to get out of a lease early? You have to pay for that. When we look at our marriages as nothing more than a contract, a way to get out…we have to realize that there will still be a high price to pay.

It’s kind of funny because a few days after this seminar I was sitting in the office of my son’s Air
Force recruiter. He was telling me about a potential candidate whose parents are divorced. The mother was allowing him to sign up for the Air Force but his father was saying no.

Although he can go ahead and do it when he turns 18, at an earlier age (17) you get some extra benefits. So it would be in his best interest to get both of his parents to sign. The recruiter said, “Divorces are messy.”

Yes, divorces are messy. While they can’t always be avoided…many times they can. And it comes down to the way we view our marriage. Will we see it as a commitment or a contract?

Related Articles:

The Makings of a Good Marriage

The Three R’s of Marriage

Do You Give Expecting Something in Return?

Are You Selfish or Selfless in Your Marriage?

Marital Bliss Doesn’t Make a Marriage Work

Photo by EyeLens in stock.xchng

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About Stephanie Romero

Stephanie Romero is a professional blogger for Families and full-time web content writer. She is the author and instructor of an online course, "Recovery from Abuse," which is currently being used in a prison as part of a character-based program. She has been married to her husband Dan for 21 years and is the mother of two teenage children who live at home and one who is serving in the Air Force.