Young or old, persistence is something that we all need to work on. I am inherently a dabbler. I love to try out new things. Unfortunately for my parents, as a child this meant that I wanted to try every activity there was to try and wanted to stick with nothing. This was very frustrating for all of us.
My daughter does not seem to be as much of a dabbler as I was. If anything, she is a homebody. However, we do attend classes outside the home and sometimes she wants to quit. In that instance, I’m in a quandary. She doesn’t enjoy it, so why should we stay?
I ask myself what her true enjoyment of the activity might be. If it’s a class I thought that she might enjoy but she doesn’t really like it, we might decide not to pursue it any more. It’s ok to try things out and dislike them.
It’s also all right to change your mind. Humans are naturally obsessive creatures. We’ve all had the experience of becoming passionate about something, so passionate that we just want to forget about everything else and do that one thing. Sometimes the interest may last for years or even a lifetime, while at other times it is a passing phase, easily overtaken by other interests.
I’m also sensitive to the fact that it might be the venue, the teacher, or the social nature of the program that is turning her off rather than the content. Perhaps the teacher is very strict. Perhaps she has an attack of comparisonitis and has decided that she is no good at the subject at hand. In this case, I’ll ask myself if there is another way she could learn this skill.
I’ll also think about the social ramifications of quitting. In some cases, a child may be part of a team or signed up for a term class. The class may be part of your ongoing family activities, like Sunday school. In this case, I’ll see what changes we need to make to help stick it out and make the experience a good one.
Parents need to think creatively about teaching persistence. Sometimes it’s the subject matter that is really intriguing to a child, but the style of the teacher just doesn’t mesh with your child. Sometimes it is truly important to encourage a child to break through feelings of inadequacy and persevere, becoming skilled in something she didn’t think she could ever accomplish.
Kids need to know that dabbling is all right. It’s good to explore your interests. It’s also important to consider the needs of others as you dabble, choosing classes that are flexible or committing to classes that are not.
How do you teach persistence?