Do you ever find yourself feeling a little jealous because your children, or one of your children, favor your spouse? If your spouse eats it up, it probably doesn’t help the situation. However, in most cases, it’s a simple matter of the child having more to do with your husband or wife. It may be that he or she is the primary caretaker, so the children are just “used to” him or her, and therefore turn to that person more often.
It may also be that a child feels closer to the other parent for some reason. It’s a common occurrence, especially as children get older. A daughter is more likely to reach out to Mom, while a son might reach out to Dad. Sometimes, it’s the complete opposite, such as when Mom and daughter both have strong personalities and are so much alike that they have difficulty getting along.
Try not to let it upset you. If it is to the extreme, try discussing the situation with your spouse and the child. Find out if there is some unresolved issue that keeps your child from feeling close to you. It may be a past disagreement that has left your child with hurt feelings. It may be that because you are so busy, your child doesn’t feel you have time for him or her. Given the opportunity to speak in a relaxed, private atmosphere, most children will tell you what’s on their mind.
Another thing you can do is try to spend more time with your children and spend more time in conversation. If you really listen, you will learn a lot. Children have a lot more going on in their lives than we parents realize sometimes. Even if something doesn’t seem that important to us, we make it important, because it affects our child. Simply reassuring your child that you care about everything that affects him or her, and letting your child know you are available, can do wonders for the relationship.