You may think that you have good coping mechanisms and skills to handle stress, tension, anxiety, loneliness or any other myriad issues that come up for the average single parent—but just because you have coping strategies, does not mean that they are the healthiest way to face things. They might be outdated or no longer useful. Maybe it is time to see if there isn’t a better way that you can handle the realities of your single parent life?
It might help to remember that the coping strategies that “work” for us when we are younger, may not still work for us as we get older. I think it is also important to remember that even unhealthy strategies like alcohol, drugs, excessive sleep, excessive eating, avoidance, etc. are all coping mechanisms that can be survival strategies we have used in the past. I used repression and denial to cope with all sorts of things when I was younger—it was the main reason I was able to stay in my marriage as long as I did and deal with other stressful situations. It was not until I got older and healthier that I realized that those coping strategies needed to be overhauled. I could no longer repress and deny unpleasant things or those situations that were overwhelming, I had to learn new strategies for facing problems, working through them and diffusing other situations. Just because my good friends repression and denial had worked so well for me in my twenties and early thirties, did not mean that they were going to hold up forever.
Often, our own personal growth and change in other areas of our lives are what prompts our need to revisit our coping strategies. We slowly start to realize that they no longer fit or feel like they are meshing with our development and the person we are now. I have also found that as my children have grown, they have pushed me to continue evolving too. Whatever the reason, you may find that it is time to learn some new, healthier coping strategies for dealing with the stresses of every day.