In Barbara Walters’ interview with First Lady Michelle Obama, who she chose as the ‘Most Fascinating Person of 2009’, they had the opportunity to speak about parenting.
Mrs. Obama admits to trying to spank her kids in the past but found it unproductive. She says that she now issues ‘lots of lectures’ in the place of spankings.
I definitely understand where she’s coming from. While I am not against spanking, I can count the number of spankings I have given on one hand. For the most part, I found that spanking or the threat of it only works for some kids. For others, it becomes a challenge and they become tougher and more defiant.
For the type of child that spankings are effective with, you really only need to give one or two spankings in their life and for the worst of offenses. Besides that the ‘evil eye’ or the right tone of voice to serve as a reminder.
For the type of child who becomes more defiant with spankings, lectures and reasoning can make a difference. But sometimes kids don’t live in a logical world. Feeding them logical explanations and reprimands can also get lost.
My parenting style is to love the kids through their bad behaviors. This does not mean that kids should be excused of their bad behavior. In fact, I believe they should experience repercussions for bad behavior. Experiencing cause and effect early in life will help kids to make smart decisions later on. This type of parenting includes threats being brought to fruition and this can be a bit much for kids to swallow. Balancing this with lots of love and hugs, and letting them know that there is nothing they can do to make you love them less can make all the difference.
~If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.