I think that “what ifs” can be the downfall of many of us—but they can really get a single parent off track. Getting caught up in worry, anxiety, self-doubt and wondering “what if” over everything that happens can keep us from being productive and happy in the way our lives are now.
What if the child support payment doesn’t come? What if I have to work overtime? What if my child gets sick and can’t go to day care? What if I have to take that transfer? What if I can’t get into the classes I want? What if I can’t afford a grand holiday? You can see how we can really get ourselves twisted around with anxiety if we let the “what ifs” take over. For many of us single parents, we have already been through some major transitions and are living rather precariously as it is—the “what ifs” may seem like a natural state of living, but they really are making things worse.
Giving in to “what if” is really an invitation to fear and doubt. We can spend days fussing and worrying about something that never comes to pass and that is a great waste of energy and focus. We single parents need all the energy and focus we’ve got just to deal with the realities that come down in a day! Staying in the moment and dealing with the reality of what is happening makes for a healthier existence than getting caught up in wondering what we will do IF something happens, or something goes wrong, or something goes right. We can ward off an onset of the “what ifs” my bringing ourselves back to the present. I tell myself things like “Now, you’re just making that up” or “We’re not going to worry about that today.” Just stating these things to myself can be all it takes to get me off the “what ifs” and back into the moment.
Tomorrow will take care of itself, we need to keep our wits about us to deal with today.
Also: Recognizing Options
Watch Out for Those Paranoid Feelings
Doing What You Need to Do (Even When You’re Scared)