Helplessness is a major contributor to marriage conflict, disagreements and even depression. The sense that you have no control over your environment and that nothing you do can affect it can leave you ineffectual and helpless. A sense of helplessness can create increased psychological stress on your life and on every interaction you have.
Too often, we get caught up on a runaway train of coping with financial problems such as getting our bills paid, saving up for holidays and events. Changes in technology such as trying to get through to report a problem with something can leave us frustrated as the computer doesn’t understand your voice or your intonation. Constantly running to meet obligations, the cycles of doing housework and taking care of family and more can keep raising the pressure on you until you feel like you can’t relax anymore.
The relationship between helplessness and your relationship difficulties is not distinct or clear, but it is there. When you are feeling this helpless, little problems between you and your spouse can erupt into huge problems and you can find yourself struggling to even begin to feel that your relationship is part of the problem instead of making it part of the solution.
You need to make a list of pressure releasers, learn to forgive yourself and to empower yourself so that you don’t drown in a sense of helplessness. The first step is to identify what situations can cause a sense of helplessness and that is the first step to keeping helplessness from controlling your happiness.
Some situations that can make you feel helpless include:
- Getting stuck in traffic
- Computer failure
- Telemarketer phone calls
- Automated menus with no operator options
- Crying babies
- Illness
- Poor customer service
- Several demands on your attention and time all at once (spouse, children, work, other family)
- Other drivers cutting you off
- The grocery store being out of what you need
- Dogs barking
- Making money, but not being able to pay all the bills
There are plenty of other situations that can cause helplessness and that rising combination of frustration and helplessness can leave you struggling to find a reason to smile, much less cooperate and when your happiness goes out the window because you’re feeling helpless – it can be hard to resolve marriage difficulties or even enjoy some downtime with your spouse because you will be too wound up from your other feelings.
What other situations cause feelings of helplessness and how do you cope with it?
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