When parents start having children, they have hopes and dreams that their children will grow up being life-long friends. For some families, siblings do get along almost perfectly. However, the majority of families have the fun of experiencing sibling rivalry at its best.
You know that competitive nature where they want to outdo or out say each other all the time. Perhaps you might see your children quietly sitting doing homework and then all of the sudden a shouting match breaks out. “I do too know how to spell that word!” “So, I can spell more words than you can.” “No you can’t.” “Yes, I can!” Okay, you get the idea.
Another scenario is siblings vying for attention from friends or family. If you have a dinner planned for the grandparents, you can be sure that your children will try their luck to see who can get the most attention. Unfortunately, the attention is not always positive – many times, it is negative attention. Everyone just sat down; food is on the table, ready to enjoy a delicious meal. Suddenly, one of the children lets out a muffled yell. Looking over, you can see feet wiggling under the table.
The reason for the child yelling was a kick under the table. You give them “the look” and for a few minutes, things settle down. However, within a few minutes, you see a child making faces out of the food on their plate. Then, the other child starts giggling. Before you have time to react, things are out of control. Children are going to be children and try things without considering anything around them. Why do they do this? Very simply put, they are children!
For the times when the children fight, bicker, tease, and just pester each other, there are answers. It might be a little unorthodox, but it works. Now this might sound strange, but I have seen grown children aged 18 and 20 still doing this and it still works. The secret to this tip working is that you have to start it very early, when the children are too young to figure out what you are doing. First, you need to get the children out of physical reach of one another. Then in a firm voice, you tell them that this behavior is not acceptable. Next, you tell them that they should love and respect each other. Now comes the fun part.
The children are required to give each other a hug and tell each other they love them. What will happen every time, sometimes immediately and sometimes after the parent walks out of the room the children will think it is funny, thus the fighting stops. In place of the silly quarreling, you will see two children giggling and rolling around on the floor, acting silly, once again best of friends. You can continue this as long as they live in your home.
This tip is especially fun during the teenage years. They hate it (or so they say) and will just stand there looking at you as if you have lost your mind. When they realize you are serious, they slowly move toward one another and as soon as they hug, they start laughing. Whatever they were fighting about or competing over is now just a distant memory. In the situation where the children are showing off and acting up in front of people, there is a simple solution for this too.
Just about every child development book written explains that children will become louder, fight longer, and be more dramatic when in front of an audience. For this reason, once the adults move to another room where the children are not permitted or the children are required to go to their rooms, problem solved.
Sibling rivalry and being dramatic is a part of every child’s life and to
some degree should be allowed so they can learn to work things out for themselves. However, as the parent, you need to keep an eye on things to ensure they do not get out of hand. Teaching your children how to love one another and how to behave around people will also teach them that they can control themselves. With control and acting appropriately in different situations will help build confidence.