We sign our children up for activities and sports because of the fun and the education. Often we allow the child to pick a sport or instrument to gage their interests. Some parents get discouraged when a child seems to have a lack of interest in any extra-curricular activities. The reason is simple. A child does not have the experience or knowledge to know what he may like. The same way we make them try different foods or know the right Christmas gift even when the child gave no direction is how we guide extra-curricular activities. Yes, you simply pick a sport or activity that you believe suits your child and sign him up. The results can be fantastic or the knowledge the activity does not suit the child. Either way, with the right perspective, it is not wasted time.
So you picked soccer for your daughter and she is enjoying it. Her horizons have been broadened and you easing into your role as a soccer mom. Then one day after practice he announces he wants to quit. He lost a love for the sport and says he never wanted to play to begin with.
After seeing your daughter’s love for music you both decide piano lessons would be ideal. She has learned to read music and play a song. You beam at her recital as she is a natural born piano player. Soon you find it a challenge to get her to practice daily. She begins to skip practices and as a result does not progress. She becomes frustrated and decides it is time to quit.
How do you parent when a child suddenly loses interest in an activity? First you need to access the reason for this loss of interest. Children are always changing and perhaps the child simply is no longer interested in that activity. Maybe the child has come to a point that he can do no more with the activity and it is time to leave it behind for something else. Could it be that your child had a bad day? If a child looses a game or freezes at a recital the discouragement could be enough to cause the child to want to give up. If your child falls into one of the first two reasons then perhaps it is time to consider a new activity. However, if your child decides to give up due to a bad day, having trouble with a teammate, being unmotivated to practice, looses a game or anything that causes discouragement then it is not time for a change of venue.
A child is often excited about playing soccer because she envisions herself the next Hope Solo. When that does not happen or the progress is slow or perhaps she is on a team not doing well, she may just want to give up. If she already started the season then make it mandatory she at least finish the season. Revisit the issue then as emotions will change and she may thank you for not allowing her give up. A child should not be allowed to give up because the going gets tough, she gets bored, or her pride is hurt. The lessons learned will cause a lifetime of giving up when times get hard.
The child who takes piano lessons will inevitably have a period where she is disinterested. She may be discouraged that after a year she is not the next Mozart. However, I have never known anyone forced to play piano who regretted it. Get your child through the hump by encouraging her not to give up. Set a reasonable time frame to revisit the issue. In the meantime do not be bullied by a bad attitude.
Our children need our encouragement. Often they say they want to give up because what they really need is someone to push them in the right direction. They may not feel confident and need us to restore that confidence. Let’s not allow them to quit too early as it may have a negative impact on their self esteem and sense of perseverance.
Discipling Young Hearts: Remembering Our Charge