As a relationship coach, I speak to many people about their relationship with their spouse. I had one person come to me recently cheating on her husband. She wanted to find out how she can cope with the affair. At first, I thought she wanted to know what she should. I quickly learned that she didn’t want to do anything with the situation, she just wanted to feel better about having the affair.
Her reasoning for the affair was that she was not happy with her husband. While she didn’t want to divorce him, she also didn’t want to be faithful to him. She felt she had a reason to cheat on him, because he wasn’t giving her the attention she desperately wanted.
She worked on the relationship for some time, she said. It never changed the way he treated her though. So, one day, she just gave up.
She started speaking to a man at her work, and they quickly became friends. Once she found out he was also in an unsatisfying relationship, she fell in love with him, and he in her.
Now, here she is in an affair, not knowing what to do or think.
It’s difficult to coach someone having an affair, knowing it’s wrong, and not wanting to end it. She says she knows it’s wrong, but she has no intention on ending it. She is in love, and that is that.
Why won’t she break it off with her husband? She’ll tell you because it’s too hard; I believe it’s due to the reality of her immoral actions.
As long as she has her husband to blame for her affair, she doesn’t feel as though she is doing something so wrong. She tells herself that it’s all about her husband not giving her what she wants, so she is getting it from somewhere else.
She hasn’t given up on your husband just yet. However, she isn’t doing anything to solve the problems in her relationship. She’s digging a deeper hole day by day, when all she really had to do was turn to her husband. Soon, she’ll be so over her head that she will hit rock bottom, which is how most people end up ending their affair, and come to their senses.
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