Family and Marriage Myths

The problem in trying to identify the type of marriage partner a person will choose and relate it to the family they grew up in, is there are too many variables. So much depends on the personalities involved and the relationships within the family. That’s why, in my opinion, making sweeping generalizations is not helpful and can in fact be harmful when choosing a marriage partner.

My daughter and I are like in looks mannerisms and expression in characteristic, like the way we are both worriers. But there are plenty of other cases where we are not alike at all. She has done some things like skydiving and caving and going on a mission to Africa that I would never contemplate at any age. Neither would her father. Both our son and daughter like camping and always have but they sure didn’t get it from us. We never did the camping thing. So in those ways they are not like either me or their father.

Another popular idea is that guys should have a good relationship with their mother to make a successful husband. Again this does not necessarily follow. I have known a couple of men who don’t have brilliant relationships with their mothers but who make excellent husband material and considerate, loving relationships with their wives, because the marriage relationship is different to the one between a mother and son.

I would however be more wary of a man who is too much of a Momma’s boy. And I have seen some marriage send up in trouble because they have never cut that tie enough and still run home to Mom regularly when anything is wrong in their life or they need comfort. That is not helpful for a marriage.

Another popular idea is that women choose men like their fathers and guys choose women like their mothers. I have to say when I look at the relationships in our own family I can’t see any evidence that this is the case.

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