While sitting here tonight pretending to be a highly observant Kendo Mum, I am reminded of the link between self-defense and personal safety. Many protective behavior programs advocate for fight back. If you are grabbed by a stranger while, you are on the street, in the park, or in your back yard; fight back and scream. Of course, structured self-defense would be the ideal, but, if like me, when you are in crisis you forget everything you are supposed to do, you won’t remember the structure and therefore, any old fight back will do.
Most forms of self-defense and marshal arts require vocal projection. In fact, right now, all the little Kendo girls and boys are making a shocking sound. The predatory menaces that prey on women and helpless children rely upon them being too scared to either move or scream. Surprise them and take away their power by ensuring that you do fight back and scream at the top of your lungs. Screaming per se is ineffective because our communities have become used to hearing, and ignoring, screams. Nobody wants to become involved because no-body knows what the issue is. It could be a domestic where both parties sometimes meet the concerned intervention with abuse. The reasons for this will be the subject of another article – perhaps during Domestic Violence Awareness month.
By screaming a message, “Call the Police,” or “Help me,” you will be calling directly to another person’s sense of intervention. This type of screaming is very difficult to ignore. It also lets the predator know that they cannot control you, that the chances of them being caught are indeed high, and that they have picked the wrong target.
It’s easy to recommend this while I’m sitting surrounded by 20 budding marshal arts stars, would I be able to do it in an emergency? The answer is yes. I did something similar as a seven-year-old child in Papua New Guinea. I saved my young brother from abduction by fighting back and using my voice. I have no idea where my internal strength came from. It was just there. The experience of it aided my growth to a strong woman, a woman who knows that “no” mean “no” and clearly gives a posture message of, “do not mess with me buddy.”
Staying silent is the worse thing you can do. If someone is going to kill you, may as well ensure that somebody else hears it. Interestingly, I have heard it said that if you are not killed within the first 30 seconds of the death threat, then your chances of survival are good. I never want for any for any of us to have to test this theory but I’m hanging onto it to make sure that I remember to scream for help.
A dirty old man once grabbed me. He grabbed my head through my parked, car window and attempted to kiss me. Urrkkk! I called him every swear word I could, and at the top of my voice. Shop owners and customers from surrounding stores all ran out because they thought there was a fight. There was a fight all right, something snapped inside me and it flew, snapping, from my mouth. My screams (yes, of abuse) identified the man as a predator. In a crowded environ, where he thought he could get away with picking on the little mother busy with her babies, he became super obvious. There was nowhere for him to hide because my screams shone the spotlight directly on him. He was shamed and I was saved.
During Sexual Violence Awareness Month, remember that while a sexual predator may have an inbuilt body weapon with which to violate you with, you also have an inbuilt siren to blow his cover. Scream and fight back. They’re not counting on it. Surprise them and in doing so, save yourself.
Consider this: If the voice of but a few people can change world governments, the voice of one woman can save herself.
Related articles:
Recovery From a Rape. YOU Can Immediately Help.
Drink spiking: A Rapists Favorite Game (Continued).
Reclaim the night. Have you ever marched?
My FAVORITE child focused article of the day: Homeschooling Days: Reading by Valorie Delp.