Friend or parent – part 2

On Saturday when my daughter rang,as we were talking,I mentioned Kori’s blog , and the idea that you could not be best friend and parent to your child. ‘It needs to be a balance between the two,’ my daughter said, which I agree with.

One of our favorite shows is ‘Gilmore Girls.’ I have bought and finished watching season 7 which has only just been released in Australia. It’s also one of my daughter’s favorites and for the same reason. We both loved the close relationship between Lorelei and Rory. Even so, there were some times I felt like getting hold of Lorelei and shaking her. I have been known more than once to yell at the TV. ‘For goodness sake, you need to be her mother!’

It’s obviously a family trait, as my daughter has done the same, ‘Stop trying to always be her friend.’ The emphasis being on the word always. ‘Sometimes you need to be her parent,’ was my daughter’s words. Sound familiar?

My daughter has just been watching the series with her husband and is currently up to series 6. We hated it when Lorelei and Rory were not talking. I suppose because each of us put ourselves in that situation. I couldn’t imagine ever not talking to my mom when she was alive or my daughter or son.

Being a friend to your child needs to be balanced with being a parent. You can be both. It’s more about knowing what is needed when. Not trying to share every moment and every single thing with your child, but spending enough time building up a relationship where they feel free to talk to your about problems and concerns as well as the things that make them happy.

As a teenager after she had been out on date, my daughter would often come and sit on the bed and chat for ages. Yes, my husband can sleep though absolutely anything.It was a good time to chat. Another good time to chat were mornings as we shared God’s Word together before we went our separate ways for the day.

Being a Mom I was always awake as soon as I heard my son or daughter’s key in the door or often awake praying for them.

We always spent a lot of time, talking with our children, (not just talking at them but listening as well) and playing games with them. We still do. This weekend when our son and his wife came down, once their kids were in bed, out came Settlers of Catan – a game we all enjoy.

As parents we enjoyed our children and still do now they are adults. My daughter and I often went shopping together, not for similar outfits but for those things that would suit each of us at the stage of life where we were at. We know we can buy things for each other that the other one will like because we understand each other.

Parenting is time consuming. We spent time reading God’s Word and praying with our son and daughter, listening to them when they wanted to talk out decisions they needed to make and encouraging them to make the decision they felt was right after praying about it. It was all about being a friend they could talk but also a parent.One of the most important aspects in the relationship was a lot of prayer and being guided by God’s Word.

Please visit these related blogs

Friend or parent to your child?

7 tips for christian parenting

characteristics and personality traits in children

7 helpful prayers for our children