Part One of a Three Part Series:Are your friends supporting or sabotaging your weight loss goals?
When you tell your friends and family that you are going to lose the weight this year, what is the response that they give you? There are many different responses that are usually given and it all depends on who is talking and what their agenda is. One response that I got was when I was talking to one of my very good friends was again? She believed that I was always talking about it but that I hadn’t succeeded yet, why would I set myself up for that failure? This can be very undermining to your goals and your mindset. You may even believe her. I didn’t. I believe that I can lose weight because there are plenty of people out there that have. Many of the people that have succeeded have had the same people telling them that they couldn’t do it. The difference between them and those that fail? They believed more in themselves than in what their friends said.
They were able to recognize what type of friends they had and therefore knew how to deal with each one. There are plenty of people out there, both beneficial and negative. Here is a list of the top.
1. My friend above is what I call the “Negative Can’t Do it” kind. This is the person that does not believe in you enough to even consider the possibility that you can change. This person is someone who can always see the ways in which you have failed in the past and are going to continue to fail in the future. They say that they are trying to be realistic and trying to make you see reality. This person is actually a sabotager, they may think that they are trying to do you a favor but they are really just putting you down.
2. The “Good for you let’s go eat” Person- This is the person who on the outside supports you but tries to sabotage you in every possible way. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes, they are really trying to get you to stay at the weight that you are because they believe that your changing will reflect on them. I have one friend, Janet who lost her best friend. Beth because Janet lost so much weight that she was skinnier than Beth and Beth didn’t like it. Beth was a fairly thin, healthy person but she was insecure and liked having a friend that was larger than she.
These people will support you to your face but then try their best to get you to eat this or stop doing that in order to sabotage you. They probably are not consciously doing this and what you need to remember is that it is about you and not them. You need to protect yourself and telling them no is ok.
3. The “Good Meaning” People – These are the people who are going to give you every piece of advice that they can come up with to help. Sometimes these people give way to much advice on different things. They harp and criticize thinking that they are doing you a favor, not realizing that they are really putting you down and making you believe that you cannot do it. Do not let these people get you down. They may mean well but if you let them get to you then they can be negative.
4. The “Supporter” – This is the friend or family member that knows just what to say when and is there for you to talk to, offers advice only when asked, and is willing to “help” by knocking on your door at 8 in the morning to drag you for your daily walks. These people are the ones who do not try to get you to eat the wrong things and are ok when you tell them you cannot eat this or that. These are the type of people that everyone wants around them.
5. Everyone else – most people are a mixture of the good and the bad. You just need to remember who you are and what your goals are. It is fine that they are trying to help but remember that you are losing weight for the most important person in your world…YOURSELF.