Now that you have figured out who is your support and who is sabotaging, here are ways to cope with each
If you have read part one of this segment on friends then you now are probably looking for ways to deal with each. The ideal would be to get rid of all of the people who are not the “supporters” but realistically there are many reasons why people are our friends and I cannot see ridding myself of those friends because they do not understand where I am coming from on a particular subject, such as weight loss. So here are ways to deal with each person.
1 “Negative Can’t Do It.” – Instead of making this person your reason for failure, make it your reason to succeed. Show them that you can do what you put your mind to and that no matter who tells you, you can’t do it that you can. Whenever this person tries to put you down, first try talking to them and telling them how they make you feel, then ignore them. If they persist, it is the time when you have to figure out if this person is really a friend or not. Keep them as a friend but distant yourself slightly from them and never be caught with them in a situation in which their negative feelings and ideas can impact your weight loss.
2. The “Good for You Let’s go eat” People – Again try talking to them about the issue. Many people do not see what they are doing or even realize that they are doing it. If push comes to shove, use the word “no”. When your friend wants you to go out to eat with her and you feel that you would blow your diet if you did then you need to start using the word “no” a little more than normal. Eventually these people will either get the hint and try to be more supportive or they will tire of the game and leave you…either way it is better than the alternative.
3. The “Good Meaning” People – You need to tell these people that though you appreciate it, you are an adult and if you need advice you will come to them when you need it. Until then, you would appreciate it if they kept their thoughts to themselves and let you make the mistakes that you need to because this is not just about becoming thin but also about learning about yourself and how can you do that if someone is always telling you what to do?
4. The “Supporter” – Surround yourself with these people as much as possible.
5. Everyone else – Talk to them and let them know your concerns and how you want to take charge. Most people will do their best to support you.