In his talk “The Tongue of Angels” Elder Jeffrey R Holland counsels us to watch the way that we speak to each other. Elder Holland opens his talk by pointing out the times that the prophets have used their words to cause things to happen. He then moves on to James 3:2-10, which refers to the harsh words that the saints of that time are saying against each other.
Elder Holland goes on to say that it is important to realize that we should not say bitter mean things to others. It is important that we use our words to bear testimony and build up, instead of tearing others down. Elder Holland emphasizes the point that cruel words really do have an effect on those around us. He warns that the church does not find verbal or emotional abuse acceptable.
Elder Holland then goes on to admonish husbands to watch the things that they say to their wives. He asks the men to remember their courtship and the kind words they used at this time. He warns that harsh words can break her spirit. Elder Holland also asks that the wives watch what they say to their husbands as well. He also warns the sisters against the harm of gossip. Elder Holland goes on to admonish parents to be careful in what they say to their children. He says:
“May I expand this counsel to make it a full family matter. We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don’t say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child’s view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child’s faith in us and their faith in God. Be constructive in your comments to a child—always. Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely. You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget—and to forgive. And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it. You may say most positively that “Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright,” but all Susan will remember is that she isn’t bright and Sandra that she isn’t pretty. Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture’s obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are ‘enough.’”
Elder Holland goes on to warn against negative thoughts, because this lead to negative words and actions. He points out that negative thinking about ourselves tends to lead us to speak negatively of others. It is important that we be optimistic and encouraging. We need to even be positive about ourselves.
Elder Holland ends his talk by saying that with the help of the Spirit that we can each begin to change the way we speak for the better. He challenges us to become “perfect” by never offending another with our words. As we strive to do this we will have the tongues of angels.
This is an excellent talk. I feel that Elder Holland raises important points about the way that we speak to each other. Words really do hurt, and the memory of that hurt lasts longer than physical pain. It is important that we learn to watch what we say, and how we say it. I hope that you will take the time to read this wonderful talk.
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