Having a child who at one time or another decides they do not like to eat is something that just about every household experiences. This usually happens when children are finding that they can make decisions. This is one of their ways of showing independence. Now any doctor will tell you that when a child gets hungry enough, they will eat and this is true. The hard part is that as parents, we still worry. Sending children to bed several nights with nothing in their stomach, makes for a bad night of sleep for the parent.
We want to ensure that our children are eating the appropriate foods, getting the right nourishment, and that they are not hungry. One such girl was six. She had recently realized that if she voiced things, people were starting to listen. When her mother kept on her one evening to come to the dinner table, a light went off in her mind, although a small light. “Ah, here is an opportunity for me to be independent. I just won’t eat.”
The first meal the mother worried that her daughter was not feeling well. She then offered her several different options of food just to ensure she ate. “Do you want some toast, oatmeal, or how about a nice bowl of chicken and noodle soup?” Still the daughter would not eat. The second meal, the mother realized that her daughter felt just fine. Now she was starting to get irritated and tension started building as the mother insisted her child eat, yet nothing. She phoned her family doctor who told her what she expected to hear, “When she gets hungry, she will eat.”
However, the daughter was still not eating on the second day and now the mother was beside herself. Then she had an idea. She would involve her daughter in a different way at mealtime and see what happened. When time rolled around to start preparing dinner, the mother called her daughter into the kitchen. “Honey, I have been really busy today. I want to make a nice dinner but there is so much to do. Would you please help me cook tonight?”
It was like magic. The daughter dropped everything she was doing, pulled a chair over to the countertop, and was ready to do whatever her mother needed her to do. Rather than give her only the boring jobs, she showed her daughter how to measure out ingredients, allowed her to pour the milk into the dinner roll batter, ignoring the drops of milk that went flying everywhere. Then she gave the daughter of job of stirring it all together.
Next, they moved on to making Fried Chicken. The daughter’s responsibility was to dip the chicken in the egg and then flour mixture. She loved this. Her hands were completely coated with flour/egg goop but the daughter was having a ball. When dinner was finally served, the mother was very eager to see if the daughter would eat. As the entire family sat down, the mother started out by telling everyone that tonight’s dinner was extra special because she had wonderful help in the kitchen.
As the food was passed around, the daughter put a piece of chicken and a roll on her plate. She bypassed the food she did not cook, but that was fine. Throughout the dinner, the family was sure to praise her for the delicious dinner. The daughter beamed and was so proud of her accomplishments. By pulling her daughter into the situation and making her a part of the solution, the eating problem was immediately solved. Not only did the daughter learn how to cook, but also she now had special time alone with her mother, and her self-esteem was bolstered. As she was growing, she hit a point of being insecure. With her new job, she realized that she was needed.