Do you ever feel like you just need some space? You need time alone, time to finish a project, time to just chill? We all have those moments where we just need some space. The same is true for our teens and we should learn how to recognize those moments and at the same time, respect those moments.
One of the things I try really hard to do is to put myself in my children’s shoes. I try to step outside of self and take a good look at my children’s lives. I try to envision what life can sometimes feel like. Even just a tiff with a friend can be gigantic in a teen’s life. Sometimes adults try to dismiss these moments as nothing to get excited about but to them, it is something to get excited about.
I also try to recall my years in middle and high school. They were not easy. Yes, they flew by quickly and now that I am older and can look back, I can see how insignificant so many moments really were. Yes, even those moments that at the time seemed life-altering. Now I can see they really weren’t.
But guess what? You can’t convince a teenager of that. So when they are facing difficulties sometimes they will want your help or your advice but sometimes they just want their space.
One of the ways I try to give this to my teens is to always knock on their door before entering. As long as they are not rude to me, if they don’t feel like talking or just want to be “left alone,” I respect that. I don’t insist that they talk to me. I don’t badger them. I let them be and give them their space. I have found that when I do that, they are more likely to come to me later and share what is going on.
Spending time with your teen is important but so is spending time apart. We all have those moments where we just need to go into a room, close the door and leave the world outside. For teenagers, their bedrooms are many times a safe haven, a place to just be without any expectations or anyone to answer to.
Sometimes as parents we get bent out of shape about the small stuff. Don’t take it personally…give teens the space they need.