It’s really difficult when you know what the right thing to do is and you try to express that to your child, but they reject it. In fact, it’s downright frustrating but yet as a parent you know that sometimes you have to just let your child figure things out on their own.
In my case it is an issue with a friendship, one that has existed since one of my children was a toddler. They have been best friends, growing up together both in the church and at school. We also live close to each other so they spend time together outside of church and school. Yet a recent argument that I was sure would blow over hasn’t and it’s been very difficult to not intervene.
Well, I should backtrack…I did try to intervene. I tried to take advantage of an opportunity where I could get them to talk to one another but that only made my child angrier. Then I tried drilling into my child what forgiveness means and how friendships shouldn’t be destroyed by something that isn’t that big of a deal.
But then later on, lying in bed I thought about something. To my child it was a big deal. Sure, to me it all seems so silly but obviously in my child’s mind it is significant. I realized then that I have to let my child work this out.
It has now been an entire week since they have talked. What made it almost worse was that last week was their spring break and instead of hanging out, my child was home all week. But they are back to school today and I am hoping that seeing each other triggers something.
It really is challenging to see your children struggle with something that you know could easily be taken care of. But they have to find their own way and as a parent, I am learning to let go and allow it to happen. I am learning how to give my teens space so that they can work things out.
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We Can’t Always Rescue Our Children
Decisions, Decisions: When to Step Out of the Way