When people hear how many children our son’s birth mother has given birth to, the most common response I hear is, “Why can’t they just tie her tubes?” Certainly when children come into care, someone is paying the bill. Yes, we the taxpayers are paying for these children to be fed and clothed. There are also people out there that feel it may have been better for everyone, if the children that have been born addicted to drugs, to have been aborted instead.
Before our boys were placed, my husband and I were nervous about adopting children that had been drug exposed. There is so much uncertainty how a child may be affected neurologically when they’ve been exposed to certain substances. As with any child, there are no guarantees. We became open to the risks and are overall glad we did. Yes, our boys face challenges as a result of the drugs they were exposed to, but it’s an honor to get to watch them overcome the obstacles that were before them.
Our children were not conceived under the most ideal circumstances, but God has given them life and allowed them to be. My heart aches every time I hear of one of the birth mothers becoming pregnant! I pray for the poor baby that has to endure the womb of a drug using mother. I wish so much some of these women would get their tubes tied. They have rights though. Both my sons’ birth mothers wanted the babies they’ve had.
There is one thing I try to make clear to people who think we adopted from the state out of the goodness of our hearts. We adopted for selfish reasons; we wanted to be parents like everyone else. We did not wake up one day and decide we wanted to rescue a kid in the system. We wanted to be a mom and a dad to someone who would enhance our family. We figured regardless of what path of adoption or fertility we took, we could have a child with issues. I can’t imagine having any other children than the ones we were given.
(Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog )