Two things recently started me thinking about gossip and loyalty in marriage. One was in the book ‘Take Joy’ by Jane Yolen where she talked of certain ’emotional core truths.’ She went on to mention some core truths about herself. One of these was ‘being loyal’ to those she loved.
The other sign recently that tickled my fancy was this. ‘I never repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.’ But what has gossip got to do with marriage?
Sadly, I thought it related closely to not being loyal to our spouse. Listening to guys talk at times, I hear men complain to their mates about their wife’s shortcomings. I also hear too many women griping to their friends about the faults of their spouse.
Sometimes the complaints can be directed at the children, ’Well you know what your father’s like. He always so… and out comes all the negatives. It’s not just in situations where the couple is separated or divorced that this happens. Some people make a habit of advertising their spouse’s faults or making sly comments to others about them. It’s a bad habit to get into. Before we decide to tell all, we need to stop and think how would my spouse feel if they overheard this? But imagine their delight if they overheard you telling someone how smart or considerate they are.
On Sunday at church several people commented on the pendant I had on. Each time I said, ‘Mick bought that. Isn’t he clever?’ They agreed.
Recently I gave a gift to a friend and she commented on the hand-made card, my immediate response was ‘Mick made it. He’s got far more patience and creativity with things like that. I could never make anything like that. He always makes our cards.’
They’re only little comments but they are affirmations of just how special I think he is. When something is wrong I tell him, not others. Mick knows I am loyal to him in my conversation just as I know he is loyal to me. Can you say the same about you and your spouse?
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