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Growing up to be a Stepmother

All little girl’s dream of being a beautiful bride one day. Walking down the aisle to their Prince Charming, having a beautiful family and living happily ever after.

How many little girls dream about one day being a stepmother? Not many I’m sure, I know when I was younger it never crossed my mind. Then you grow up, Prince Charming is not quite who you thought he was and now it’s just you and the kids, until your real Prince Charming comes along.

When I look at my daughters friends there are very few who are in intact, biological families. That means that most of those Mom’s, who were once little girls, grew up to be stepmothers. Some women are stepmothers long before they are biological mothers. With more people waiting until they are older to marry the chances of your spouse having a child are greater.

Are we all destined to be wicked stepmothers? Where does the stigma of the wicked stepmother come from? Did this originate because we women are so insecure that having another woman around our children makes us so crazy that we have to turn her into a monster?

I’ve known women like that, they are irrational, and they share that irrationality with their children. They will tell their children that the stepmother is just pretending to be nice but once she has won them over her true colors will come out. Is this really the relationship we want our children to have with any adult who will be a part of their lives for a long time to come?

I don’t ever want to be seen as a wicked stepmother and I hope that I have treated my ex husband’s significant others with respect. Hailey and I tease Michele and call her Haley’s wicked stepmonster, but she knows it’s a joke. I know she loves my child, and my daughter knows it too. Last Mother’s Day Hailey made me proud and showed me that I have not made Michele out to be a wicked stepmother, she bought her a card. I was touched, Michele was touched. Although when I realized she forgot my card I was a little hurt. I wonder if I’m a wicked biological mom?