This past week I was able to attend a group for women at my church. Our pastor’s wife did a teaching on marriage that was very inspiring. At the end you participated in a table discussion with the ladies you were sitting with.
There was a list of questions that were designed to get you thinking positively about your spouse. However one woman in particular seemed insistent on dominating the conversation and it wasn’t very positive.
She was going on and on about all the wrong things her husband was doing. Now it’s not that I don’t have sympathy for her struggles. I do know that many women are dealing with difficult husbands and married life is not always easy, but I guess if there is one thing I have learned over the years is that you should guard what you share with others.
My husband and I have definitely had our difficult moments. At times he has been a real pill and if I were to tell the world about some of the things he has said or done, you might agree. But I don’t feel that is my place. I have also come to realize that while he has faults, I certainly have my own share of them as well.
It has been a rule of mine over the years that I will not talk negatively about my husband to my family or my friends. First of all I feel it’s very disrespectful to him. When you fill people’s minds with negative things about your husband it isn’t helping him or your marriage, it is hurtful and harmful. You are causing others to get this one-sided view of things when there are really two sides to marriage.
Second, I try to think how I would feel if my husband were doing the same thing. Even if something is true about your spouse it doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be said. Some things are better left unsaid and dealt with behind closed doors.
Finally, I guard what I say about my husband because I am protecting our marriage. Everyone goes through difficult times and everyone could improve. When I speak negatively about my spouse, I am opening the door to all kinds of things that could go wrong.
In the end I sat there and listened without responding or affirming what this woman was saying. When there was a moment of silence I spoke up and said that for me personally, I have chosen to guard what I say about my husband and I went on to list my reasons.
I guess I was a little surprised that she didn’t take offense to it. In fact, she seemed receptive to it as if this was a new concept she had never heard of before. She slowly nodded her head in agreement and within minutes, the next time she spoke she brought up how her husband is a good provider which allows her to be a stay-at-home mom.
Guard what you share with others. Marriage is a sacred union that can be quickly destroyed when negativity seeps into it.
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