Most parents know all too well that kids learn by example, which is why the majority of us try to model good behavior.
Now that you are a parent do you always remember to return your shopping cart to its designated area? Do you always remember to say “please” and “thank you” even after the guy at McDonald’s erased your order… twice, then made you wait 15 minutes for ONE Happy Meal? Do you always practice proper store etiquette and take time to return the box of animal crackers your toddler swiped from the shelf even if it means backtracking to the cookie aisle when you are halfway to the frozen food section? Do you always remember to remain calm when iPod wearing, zoned out teens on rollerblades nearly barrel into your tricycle-riding tot, who just happens to be wearing a fluorescent orange safety vest?
Just how much more aware are you of your actions since becoming a parent?
Can you really say for sure that you would be as polite, humble, forgiving, compassionate and thoughtful as you are if your son or daughter wasn’t watching? Think about it; would you really feel compelled to hold open the door for another person or pick up that discarded gum wrapper on the floor of your local Wal-Mart (without damning the person who left it there) if little eyes weren’t keeping track of your every move?
Personally, I can’t say for sure that I would always do these things if my young daughter wasn’t watching me. And I know I’m not alone, which is not to say that we were all a bunch of wretched, childless individuals simply because we left our shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot. Life happens. We might have been tired, in a hurry or stressed out and simply couldn’t be bothered to do the right thing. Of course, that’s still no excuse. But the way I see it as long as you don’t fall into the trap of ignoring the rules then justifying your poor behavior then there’s still hope… for you and your child. After all, at some point in our lives we’ve all been subjected to people (many who have children) who consistently play by different rules and ignore the boundaries that serve as the underpinning of human morality. Philosophers categorize that kind of behavior as moral relativism; the rest of us call it hypocrisy (and by “us,” I mean me).
Which brings me back to modeling good behavior. The fact of the matter is that my daughter’s presence in my life makes me much more aware of what I do. These days I view something as small as picking up a wadded gum wrapper as an opportunity to teach my daughter a lesson: It’s not nice to litter… where should this go… let’s help out the janitor by throwing it away, etc. I may set out to teach my child simple lessons in the school of life, but in the end, I also end up learning a few things.
How has becoming a parent made you a better person?
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