It’s been a hard last six months. Okay, it’s been a hard last two years. We’ve had ups and downs – lots of downs – and mostly centered around me and my health (and my frustration about my health). You know what’s amazing to me? My husband loves me anyway. He knows that I can’t be defined by all this stuff that’s happened. He knows that’s not really me. And he knows that if he’s patient, I will return to who I once was.
That’s one of the biggest secrets in marriage, I think. We need to look past our spouse’s hissy fits or bad days at work or whatever it might be that is causing the problem, and understand that this is temporary. We all need to blow off steam sometimes. We all go through rough patches. Those things come to an end, and we should recognize that and understand that if we stick by our spouse and weather the storm, we will be richly blessed when the trial is over.
Love isn’t something that comes and goes. It doesn’t show up when times are good and take off when things get rough. If someone has left you when times got a little hard, that wasn’t really love—it may have been lust, or affection, or any number of other things, but real love sticks with it. Of course, I’m not talking about staying in an abusive relationship—that’s a completely different topic. I’m referring to financial hardship, or health problems, or trials with wayward children. We can become united with our spouse and we can see those trials through to the end, together.
Don’t give up because things are hard. Look at your spouse and recognize and appreciate their suffering, but don’t compare it to yours—it’s not a contest. Going through trials means facing them head-on together, not fighting over who has suffered the most or who has given the most. Marriage is a partnership, and nearly everything can be overcome when you approach it that way.