Staying calm, Zen, and trying not to overreact sound like fabulous guidelines for any parent—especially a single parent who might be more susceptible to stress and exhaustion. Saying that we should keep from getting worked up is one thing, however, while actually refraining from getting too excited is quite another. Is there anything that a single parent can do to keep from getting too excited—whether about things the kids do, work, the Ex or other life challenges?
Learning how to handle stress is key for any single parent, but learning how to NOT let our kids, our coworkers or anyone else get us too excited is good for our health and our mental well-being. Not to mention we will get better sleep and have a better time with life all around if we do not let ourselves get sucked into drama and stress.
Making up your mind that you are not going to get excited about so many things is the first step, now you can learn some coping skills to help…
I have learned to put off making decisions and reacting when I am feeling the most stressed. If you feel yourself get angry, emotional or shooting up in terms of your gut reactions to things, take a step back, remove yourself, breathe and tell yourself you are not going to react for a certain amount of time—an hour or a day. The problem or issue will still be there and you will be in a better state of mind to solve it. Of course, we do have to react quickly sometimes and ‘in the moment’ but you may still be able to take 5 minutes and breathe and get calm before you react.
Consider developing a mantra, a song, or some other coping mechanism that you can use when you start to feel yourself getting excited. Whether counting or humming or singing a little ditty, having a ‘tool’ that you can turn to when you feel your emotions start to erupt can be a healthy way to keep from getting excited. It can also serve to signal to our children that we are getting angry, upset or excited and let them know that they need to back off.
Even if you think of yourself as hot-headed and susceptible to stress—there are ways to learn to cope. You might be surprised how you can actually learn to be more easy-going and less eager to jump on the stress and drama bandwagon.